So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
