I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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