Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
