matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize