Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize