Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
