My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
