so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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