she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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