You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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