so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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