before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
