I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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