There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize