2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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