two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
