sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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