i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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