How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize