I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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