I'm drive I can fine osifer
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
