Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
