So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
