How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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