this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
