fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
