we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
