he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You were trust falling into bushes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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