dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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