Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
