In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
