you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize