Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
