I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
