What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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