Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
