dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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