ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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