Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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