Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
