I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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