Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
