I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm really into asian looking animals
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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