Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
