Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
