I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
