she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize