She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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