have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
