very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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