He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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