Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
