There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
