Umm I'm too high to move.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
