Got a toothbrush?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
