Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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