but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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