I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize