Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
