i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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