ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
