She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
