i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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