Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
