whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
