i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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