Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
